Embracing My Journey ~ Living with passion & purpose!

I have decided to re-post a column I shared on the Washington Times Communities late last week as part of my “Talkin’ Tuesdays & Thursdays” columns.   The Living the Life of My Dreams interview series will return on Wednesday.   ~ Caryn

Today I feel compelled to use “Talkin’ Thursday” to focus on the overwhelming amount of negativity found in our world today and I’m going to use a couple of the more popular reality television shows as an example.

Television shows such as “Platinum Weddings” “My Super Sweet 16″ and now “Little Miss Perfect” are all focused on how people are using and teaching their children to use, money to promote their own superficial self-importance. Now, I enjoy money as much as the next person, but how about focusing on the positive impact money can be used for instead of the negative?

“Platinum Weddings” basically asks the question, “what is the largest, most extravagant, and unless item one can spend money on as part of their wedding?”  Now, I give them some credit in that in many cases the people spending the money are the same ones who have earned it, which does give them every right to choose what they wish to spend it on, but in many cases it’s the parents of the spoiled bride who are footing the bill, where again the words entitlement and spoiled seem to come to mind. Not once have I heard anything about the happy couples donating to charity or asking their guests to do so in lieu of gifts, have you?

Take the reality show, “My Super Sweet 16″ which focuses on the children of wealthy individuals who are planning their sweet sixteen parties.  Many of these kids are given no budget, no boundaries and in many cases don’t even have parents around to assist them with the planning as their parents are off in different parts of the world doing whatever it is they do instead of being around to raise their own children.

The parties turn into a who’s-who of their social circle with invitations being delivered by messenger, by limo or in some cases by professionals dressed in costume and performing as they reach the invitees.  The parties themselves boast top name entertainers, lavish food and choreographed dances or performances.  Add to this that the birthday girl/guy expects a high end luxury car and many have been appalled when anything less than a Mercedes, Range Rover, BMW or Jaguar are even suggested.

One young lady had a full out temper tantrum when her grandmother suggested that her gift was going to be a used car instead of a brand new one, turns out grandma was only joking, but the attitude the birthday girl demonstrated was one of entitlement instead of gratitude leaving me to wonder about how her parents and grandparents raised her?

Another episode focused on which exotic animal the birthday boy wanted to be part of his grand entrance.  Fortunately the state had laws about him using the tiger, yes tiger, he had requested, but this leaves me to wonder if the state didn’t have guidelines who would have stopped him from having a full grown tiger at his event?  It certainly would not have been his parents as his mother was with him and she did not bat an eye when he asked for the tiger as his first choice.

I have never seen an episode of this show, and I admit I have only watched a handful of them, where the child did anything remotely related to volunteerism, had community involvement or didn’t seem repulsed by those who drove a Honda, have you?  If so, please leave a comment and let me know.

So we move from grown adults acting like fools to spoiled teenagers acting entitled to what I consider to be one of the worst types of reality shows, the pageant princess show. “Little Miss Perfect” is the name of the show and it focuses on a couple of different families as they take part in the Little Miss Perfect glitz pageant.  The young girls, all under the age of 11 or 12, are dressed up in custom designed dresses and wow wear as they parade around the stage in front of judges who are critiquing their looks, their outfits and even their tans and teeth, which in many cases are false. My main concern with this show is that the pageant moms seem to be reinforcing their own lack of self-esteem onto their daughters, teaching them that they need crowns and trophies to measure their self-worth and value, while never teaching them the value of internal beauty.  These children are simply doing what they are told, dress up and prance around on stage doing their best to please everyone else, all the while not one of these parents seems concerned with the long term effects of raising a child in this type of superficial environment.

On the flip side, I remember reading about Bill and Melinda Gates and how they spend each evening with the family talking about what they are grateful for and how they can affect the world in a positive manner.  From what the Gates have said, the children are very much aware that the majority of their fortune is being given to the charities they support instead of to their children.

Now you don’t have to be Bill or Melinda Gates to be a positive role model for your children.  In fact you don’t have to be a celebrity either, however if you’d like to take a look at what charities celebrities support visit: http://www.looktothestars.org/celebrity/ as their list is about to hit 2000 celebrities.

It only takes common sense (which I know is not something all have the gift of) and a bit of patience to lead by example.  Instead of teaching a child that money and appearance are the most important factors in life, how about teaching them that compassion and internal beauty are key factors in ones life?  That by assisting others and giving of one’s self to others, one can assist in making this world a better place for others, generate a more peaceful environment where people care about each other and instead of judging each other they reach out to those in need and simply offer a non-judgmental hand-up, not out.

As the death toll in Haiti reaches over fifty thousand people, devastating a country where the average person doesn’t live lavishly but has just enough to get by, some are reaching into their pockets to donate whatever they can afford and others whose services are of value (medical personal for example) are jumping onto planes to do whatever they can to help the survivors while the mass majority are offering prayers and emotional support where they can.

All positive.

And where there is a positive, there will always be a negative.  In many cases like this con artists will come out of the woodwork to scam and take advantage of the good-hearted people seeking to donate money.  Fake organizations pop up posing as charitable organizations that will accept a donation and forward it onto Haiti.

Unfortunately, it’s something that is almost expected to happen when tragedies like the one in Haiti occur.  The negative that makes the earthquake situation in Haiti even worse is that one of the religious leaders in our country has come out and stated that the tragedy in Haiti is due to a “pact with the devil” that the people of Haiti had made a long time ago. He has also called the earthquake a “blessing in disguise” which is totally horrific to hear from anyone let alone a man who has over a million people following him on a daily basis (per his TV show viewership information).

I am far from a religious leader and I certainly don’t have over a million people reading my column (yet) but I would like to reach out to those who are reading this and ask you all to:

1. Share this column.

2. Contact your local Red Cross or reputable charitable organization and make a donation of any amount, even $1 will make a difference.

3. Say a prayer – regardless of what religious preference you have – for those in Haiti who are suffering through this devastation, the friends and families of the Haitians who are waiting for updates and for those who are ignorant enough to believe that this horrible act is some sort of payback for something the people of Haiti have done in the past.

Take today and be grateful for the roof you have over your head, the food you have on your table and the ability to contact loved ones.  The fact that are you are able to be connected to the internet to read this is a blessing too.  Focus on the positive and let’s all work together to make this world a better place!

In gratitude, Caryn

Caryn FitzGerald is a motivational columnist, speaker and writer, she has been featured in and published several books, including “Tulips in the Sand: A Riley Matthews Mystery.”  Read more from Caryn at her website CarynFitzgerald.com.

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This entry was posted on Monday, January 18th, 2010 at 6:14 am and is filed under Caryn's writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.