Tell your loved ones you care…
December 27th, 2008
Our last photo together
December 2008.
It’s been 3 weeks since dads passing and with his death being at the beginning of the holiday season, it has been especially difficult for me. Although I knew in my heart and in my head that my father would not be here to celebrate Hanukkah with us this year, it was still a shock to hear the nurse tell me “your father has passed” and the reality struck me as I walked into his bedroom and saw him laying there, quiet and still…an image I will never forget. I said my good-byes, kissed his bald head and watched as he was wheeled out of my world. In the past three weeks, friends have shared the condolences, made contributions in his memory to both our Temple and Lewy Body Dementia Association as well as sent cards and prayers our way. For this I am so very grateful.
For me personally, I have been keeping very busy as we are preparing to move this coming week and the sorting / packing is priority. I find myself constantly moving, not really interested in standing still for any length of time. Having “good days” doesn’t really happen…it’s more like having “good moments” where I am focused, creative and able to laugh. These “good moments” are happening a bit more frequently each day and I pray that each day will continue to have more and more of these “good moments” as time progresses.
I am grateful for my loving husband, Rick. He has stood by me thru thick and thin, supporting me in the past two years while I was caring for my father during his illness and had to divide my time…leaving him with the short end of the stick more often than not. I am grateful for my daughter, Sami who has brought to me the world thru the eyes of an 8 year old, it’s all simple and good and everyone should be happy….. She shares with me that she “talks” to grandpa every day and that he’s in a better place, dancing and singing in peace. I love that she can verbalize this as it helps me to remain grounded in remembering that my dad is in a better place.
Many have shared with me their love and support as they too have lost their parents. It’s incredible to hear the stories of strength and how it may not get “better” but it will get easier to live with the loss as time goes by. Today, as I clean out the closets and sort thru my fathers clothing, I pray for the day when it will be easier….as I would give absolutely anything to have my dad back for just one more day….to hug him, to hear his voice and to be able to tell him how much I love him. As of on cue…the rain has begun and I can’t help but think of my dad “Singing in the Rain” and smiling….his way of telling me he knows…..
In gratitude,
Caryn
EmbracingMyJourney L.L.C. was created by Caryn FitzGerald in 2008.
Caryn, known as "The Manifesting Queen" is a motivational columnist, speaker and writer, she has been featured in and published several books, including "Tulips In The Sand" "Fish Sticks, Books and Blue Jeans" “Manifest Success” “Visual Arts Junction Interviews” & “Online Marketing Success Stories..."
Caryn is a domestic violence survivor who has triumphed over a 10-year battle with anorexia and bulimia. She is a wife, mother, writer, speaker, blogger, coach and a health food enthusiast Click to connect with Caryn at her website Or click here to get inspired by her latest ebook “Living the Life of My Dreams” There may be paid links on this page, click here to read the blog disclaimer.
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